Premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD is often described as indescribable.
It seems difficult, if not impossible to put the totality of the PMDD experience into language others can understand. Anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts describe symptoms of PMDD rather than describing what PMDD actually is.
In my own personal battle with PMDD, I realized that this experience is far more than a list of symptoms. Under the layers of emotional distress, there is a profound shift in perspective that is difficult to articulate.
The PMDD experience seems to be more like changing the channel on a TV.
We can all relate to the differences between being awake and dreaming. Being sober and under the influence. Being in love and heartbroken.
Roughly 1 in 20 women can relate to PMDD.
What we experience every month is more like a bad trip that we don’t know how to navigate. Information is processed differently, and we are certainly NOT in a normal, functional state of consciousness.
PMDD is truly something else.
The idea that mental health issues are a shift in consciousness is not new. As Matthew Ratcliff points out in his book “Experiences of Depression (2015)”, first hand accounts of depression are difficult to describe to people that have not experienced it.
This “shift in consciousness” was further expanded on by Cecily Whiteley, a philosopher and doctoral candidate at Cambridge University.
In her article “Depression is more than low mood, it’s a shift in consciousness” she advocates for a new approach to understand mental health disorders rather than focusing on symptoms to tell the whole story.
Ahhhh, finally a fresh perspective.
Her latest preprint in the British Journal for the Philosophy of Science, titled “Depression as a Disorder of Consciousness” puts forth an interesting hypothesis:
“When an individual becomes depressed, the individual departs from a state of ordinary wakeful consciousness and enters a distinctive global state of consciousness akin to dreaming and the psychedelic state.”
Although PMDD includes more than depression, I believe the same hypothesis can be applied. Intuitively, it makes perfect sense (at least to me) that PMDD is more like an altered state of consciousness that some women have access to. During PMDD episodes I didn’t feel like the same person and the way I viewed the world was very different.
Clearly, PMDD is like a recurring nightmare.
Before mushrooms, the word “consciousness” meant very little to me. However, with a little divine intervention, exploring my own “consciousness” became my most important work. Psychedelic journeying and meditation opened my eyes to other realms of possibility. They showed me the other side of depression and anxiety. A state of being full of unconditional love that provided a fresh start and prompted me to show up as a more authentic version of myself.
Side note - my journey also included a literal TON of self-work and integration.
It was like I finally experienced a yin to my yang, bringing balance into my life. With PMDD, I explored the depths of emotional turmoil including suicidal ideation and severely depressed moods. On the other hand, psilocybin showed me a path of exploration, wonder, and awe combined with a profound sense of belonging and connectedness to my true self and the world around me.
Research has shown psilocybin helps people form healthy habits. In my case, I noticed a change in my diet and exercise routines after psilocybin trips. Meditation became an almost daily practice.
I spent ALOT of time in nature.
The increase in self-care and meditation was key, psilocybin just helped me get there. There's something about an alternate lens in which to see the world that moves us into a more positive state.
Maybe it’s just the fresh content.
The same skills I learned through psychedelic journeying and meditation help me manage premenstrual states and prevent them from manifesting into “bad trips”. Now that I’m on the other side of depression and anxiety, I’m exploring the creative aspects of PMDD with a fresh perspective.
Maybe there’s a super power hidden in all this chaos.
**Taking psychedelics is not right for everyone, and it’s not a one and done cure for mental health problems, but it is certainly a tool humans have used for thousands of years to change the channel of consciousness. As psychedelic research, consciousness and mental health continue to intersect, I am hopeful that PMDD will be included in future research.
Until then, re-framing mental health conditions as an altered state of consciousness may be helpful for us to make sense of the PMDD experience.
I know it has for me, but what are your thoughts? Does your PMDD experience feel like an altered state of consciousness?
If you’re interested in this topic and want to learn more about my experience with PMDD and psilocybin mushrooms, check out my two books, The Woman in the Basement and Channel Twelve, available on Amazon.